My Life
by AlyPyro
Summary: Living with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), even if it's just barely there, is one thing but also having to deal with SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) just adds to the problems in my life. I can't trust myself in front of people so I always have to act like I'm perfectly fine. And even when I do that, I feel like people know that I'm a misfit. *Mikan's POV*
1. Prologue

_**~Prologue~ **_

To give a little about myself and family history, I am Sakura Mikan, 17 years old, the youngest of four children and the only girl. I have three older brothers; the eldest is Rei (25), then Akira (21), and last Tsubasa (19). Rei and Akira are Tsubasa's and my half brothers. They were from my mom's previous marriage. Tsubasa and I have the same mother and father so we a full siblings.

Rei is very problematic and has been suffering for depression for years now. He doesn't live with us, he ran away when he was 18 when he and my dad got into a major fight blaming my dad and mom for all his problems. We still keep in contact with him but we choose not to talk to him on the phone because he makes everything either depressing or into a fight. He has a child of his own but his ex-girlfriend left him and took his kid away (so he can't see his only child anymore) because she's a little bitch and devil reincarnated.

Akria is very... different. He has the worst ADHD out of all of us (yes all four kids have it but not as bad as he has it). He would always get in trouble when he was going to school because he would never take his medication and cause unthinkable problems at school. Once he set a bathroom trashcan on fire when he was in middle school and then he ended up at a behavioral school and now he's banned from ever stepping foot on the middle school property. He stopped going to school when he was 16 years old because he ran away to go live with his dad in Australia for a few years. He's very friendly, warm hearted, and talkative but he has a short temper and usually gets in trouble with the law so he ends up in jail for a few months at a time. Not to mention he loves to drink. He has a child of his own too. But since he is in jail all the time and his ex-girlfriend is a drug addicted, CPS (Child Protective Services) told my parents to take care of my nephew, Youichi. Youichi is 3 years old and a little devil. He's the reason why I don't want any children because I'm scared that they'll turn out to be like him and I can't deal with that.

Tsubasa is the typical popular kid. All throughout middle and high school he has been the guy every girl wants to date and the guy that every guy want to know and be friends with. He's invited to all the big parties and has countless number of 'friends'. He's so good looking that when he went to the mall once, some clothing store hired him randomly without any sort of interview or job application. I have always been jealous of Tsubasa. He's everything I'm not. He has such an easy going life because he makes friends easily and is good looking. It's not fair.

And then there's me. Ever since I was young, I knew I had ADHD. Because of it, I kept on getting distracted in school. Plus my parents would get mad at me because I could focus on things they told me to do. But they never thought it was bad enough that I should be put on medication, like they did to Rei and Akira when they lived with us. All they had to do was give me a sip of caffeine and I was tired. In addition, I was never the best at making friends. Throughout my childhood, I only had four friends that I truly considered friends. And honestly I was perfectly fine with that. Who needs a lot of people who aren't even true friends.

As I started to grow older, I dealt with my ADHD better that you wouldn't even notice that I had it. Also I went outside less and less. My excuse was that I hate the sun and burn easily since I'm so pale. It was true but really I just lost interest in people. Expect my close four friends. However, even when they ask me to go to the movies, to a party, or any social gathering with many people, I'd still make up a reason not to go. My parents would always try to get me out of my room and socialize by going to pointless parties with them but every time I would silently panic inside my body and just go off to a corner away from everyone. I would usually put my headphones in and pretend I was busy with something on my phone until it was time to go. A few times there was a person my age that would try to make me interact with other people. My heart beat increased and my face heated up. I felt as if I would pass out. Every time I would have a panic attack and said to them I was sick and ask to leave me alone.

It wasn't until I was 15 (two years ago) that I was (self) diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. Now I never went to the doctor to conform this simply because I'm too scared to leave my home to go there and have an anxiety attack. I have done enough test (on medical websites) and research to know that I have this disorder, but not to the extreme. I still haven't built up the courage to tell anyone about this, not even my parents. They might think I'm fooling around and not believe me. Same goes with my friends. I'm just too scared to tell anyone.

Welcome to my life.

_***I don't own anything besides the plot***_

_****Based off my personal life mixed with Gakuen Alice/Japanese Culture so the characters will be OOC, sorry.****_

_*****Please read, I hope you all enjoy it. I tried really hard.*****_

_******Everyone is basically OOC so be prepared******_


	2. Chapter 1

**_~Chapter 1~_**

I was sitting in my room with Tumblr and Facebook open when my mom came into my room and told me that I should get ready for bed since the first day of school is tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me mom, not like my brain would let me forget that I have to be with thousands of people at a kind of new school I never been to before (it's a new school but it's not since it's another part of our Academy so I'll practically know everyone in my grade level, which is kinda good, less anxiety) for six hours tomorrow. I already had a few anxiety attacks and nightmares just thinking about it the past few days. I have never been so scared/nervous in my 15 years of life. But like a good child, I listened to her and shut off my laptop then got ready to sleep.

The whole night I was up. Staring at the ceiling, or at least I hope since I couldn't see anything. I was so nervous for tomorrow that my brain wouldn't let me get the sleep I deserved. Tomorrow is going to be hell.

My alarm went off at 4:30 am. I know it's early considering my school starts at 7:00 am, but I had to get ready and mentally prepare myself for this day and the next nine months.

I went into my bathroom and splashed my face to try to wake myself up since I got no sleep last night. I looked in the mirror and saw the bags under my eyes. Instantly I grabbed some make-up and tried my best to cover them up.

I ate breakfast, somewhat, at 6:00 am as my mom was getting ready to drive me to school. I wasn't really hungry but I didn't want my mom to have the burden of worry about me and thinking less of me. Just the thought of it, I started to panic.

"You alright Mikan? You don't look so good." My mom said to me.

I faked a smile to her and popped some food in my mouth. "I'm fine mom, just a little nervous for today." A Little? I just wanted to run to my room and never come out.

She walked over and kissed my forehead. "Oh honey, you'll be fine. You have Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire with you the whole time. Remember they're in your class this year." I only nodded.

I guess she was right. I had nothing to worry about. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

By the time I was done with breakfast, it was almost time to leave. I ran to my room and one more time tried to prepare myself. That didn't work out too well. My mom called for me and I quickly grabbed my stuff and walked downstairs.

"Aww, you look so cute!" my mom squealed as she saw me.

_Why did you say that, I know you're only saying that because I'm your daughter and you have to. Stop lying to me. I know I look horrible. Once I get to school, everyone's going to see me and make fun of me._ "Thanks," I said with another fake smile.

We left the house and got into the car. My chest felt like it was going to cave in. It only got worse as the car started to move. By the time I arrived to school, I could barely breathe.

My mom stopped the car in front of the school doors. There were so many people here. _Why?_ I inhaled deeply and slowly opened the car door while putting my backpack on.

As soon as I closed my door, my mom started to drive away, while I was still standing there frozen. _No don't leave me please. I don't want to be by myself in a new place. _Then I noticed the car behind me that wanted to drop their kid off and I quickly started to walk into the school. _Great now those people probably hate me because I held up the line. Good job Mikan._

When I walked in, I didn't know where my class was. This place is so big, I'm going to get lost. And if I get lost, I'll be late for class, and it's the first day so everyone will think I'm stupid and think of me like that for the rest of the year. And that means I won't get along with people and my friends might leave me because they don't want to hang with a stupid person like me. I can't take this pressure. I can't breathe. Why do I have to be here?

But soon most of my worries went away when I saw Sumire walking in. Sumire was my best friend since last year. I tell her everything... Well most everything. I feel normal around her, along with my other three friends; I don't have any anxiety when she's around because I trust her with everything. Hell I even talk to to others when she's around... sometimes. Although lately it felt like she was ignoring me. We barely talked over break. _Is she finally getting tired of me? Am I annoying her too much that she started to hate me like everyone else?_

"Mikan!" she yelled and ran over to me. I was instantly knocked over by her hug and people started to stare at us. _Everyone please look away. Stop staring... Please!_

"Hi Sumire. How was your break?" I asked her as we walked to our class together.

"Oh it was same as ever. I mostly slept and helped my mom around the house since my brother was too lazy too. You know the usual. How about you?"

"It was fine." I answered. Just stayed on the internet all day, stuffed my face with food, and never went outside... the usual.

She instantly grew a knowing smile and got closer to me. "You know the guy you like is in our class this year." Sumire is the only person who knows who I like.

My mouth opened and I stopped breathing. "Ruka is in our class." Oh gosh I hope I don't do anything stupid this year. This year is my chance to actually get to know him. Aha, what am I saying? I suck at talking to people, especially guys. I guess it'll be another year of watching him from afar (pretty much stalking him).

"Yeah, can you believe it? It's fate I'm telling you. I bet by the end of this year, you two will be going out. Oh you two are such a cute couple." She went off about Ruka and I. She even told me a plan she had to get us to start talking and how to get him to ask me out.

I don't know why she's making such a big deal of this. I know it'll fail instantly because... well because I'm involved and I'll bail out on her at last second. But right now all I can do is act like it's a bulletproof plan and act excited about it.

"Mikan, Sumire!" We heard our names and saw Anna and Nonoko running towards us as we entered class while Hotaru was only walking.

"I'm so glad we're all in the same class this year! It's going to be a great year, I can just feel it," Anna said as she walked us to where they were sitting. Which happened to be in the front.

I hate sitting in the front because that means there's people behind me. And 99.9% of the time I can feel their eyes on me and I start to think that I'm doing something stupid again or I look horrible and they're talking about me. Also the teacher will most likely call on me more than often, and I'll give the wrong answer and everyone will think I'm stupid, and I hate talking in class, also I blush A LOT when the attention is on me. That's why I prefer to sit in the very back, no one's behind to judge me and I can blend into the background.

We all sat down; I was between Hotaru and Sumire at the very end of the row.

Soon the bell rang and our first teacher came in. "Hello everyone I'm Narumi-Sensei and I'll be you language/literature teacher for this school year." Wow he's really active... I wish I was like him and not care about anything/anyone. Oh how I envy normal people.

He told us to go around and introduce ourselves. I hate this because as soon as it was my turn, I stood up and turned around to face the class. I introduced myself as normally as I could with my shaky voice. And as soon as I saw Ruka, who was in the back, stare at me, I could feel my face heating up and I quickly sat back down. It took me a while to calm down and turn back to my normal skin color.

"So now that everyone is done, I can safely assume that Hyuuga Natsume is not here today?" Narumi-Sensei asked the class. They nodded. "What a bummer, being absent on the first day of school."

Natsume Hyuuga? I never heard that name before and I've been going to this Academy since Primary (Elementary) School. Is he a transfer student? How did he get in? It's hard to get in/apply for this school after the first year of Middle School. Huh. I wonder what he looks like... I hope he's cute.

My mom was waiting outside the school when the bell rang signaling us to go home. I hopped into the car as fast as I could.

"How was your first day?"

"It was alright." _Please just drive away. I can't be here any longer._

"That's all?"

"Pretty much." There's no way I'm going to tell her my school life.

We arrived home, as soon as I walked through the door I heard scream and crying that sounded like a firecracker. Youichi must have gotten in trouble again. I sighed. _He's just like his father._

"What happened now?" I asked my dad.

"The usual back talking. I can see Akira in him and it scares me. I don't want to deal with another Akira."

"Well like they say... The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."

My dad laughed. "You got that right."

"Stop being mean to Youichi. He's only three years old, he doesn't know any better."

"Three year olds shouldn't act like the devil but he does so it's only fair. By three years old they should know how to listen to their elders and not back talk or cuss at them." I said. I used to love kids before Youichi came along.

* * *

I hoped you all like it so far ... I'll be trying my best to upload a new chapter every week ~ Thank you for reading... I was so nervous to post this~~

I Don't Own Anything ~~

Date Published: 03/28/14


	3. Chapter 2

**_~Chapter 2~_**

The first day came and pasted. There was so much stress on me as I tried to be friendly with my new teachers and classmates. I tried to act like an outgoing person only to sink back into my chair trying to disappear before I ever got to talk to someone new.

But now it's the second day of school.

I walked into the classroom and then noticed a black haired guy standing next to Ruka and Koko. Who's that? Is that the new student that didn't show up yesterday? What's his name again? I think it started with a N. I hate having short memory. At least he's cute.

"Okay everyone school's about to start, get into your seats." Narumi-sensei came in.

I sat in my seat along with my other four friends.

Narumi-sensei started to take roll. I zoned out until I heard my name being called.

"H-Here." I said then zoned back out.

Today in all the classes, we mostly went over expectations for the year. I hate the first few weeks of school when everyone is telling the expectations and how things will be. It's the same speech over and over for 8 classes for 2 weeks.

"So Mikan, why were you so spacey during class today?" Sumire whispered to me when we were leaving school. "Daydreaming about Ruka?" She nudged me then winked.

My face heated up. "N-No." I wasn't daydreaming about him ... well not all day.

"You're lying! You know you were thinking about him."

"Shut up!"

"Him? Who's 'him'?" Anna popped out of nowhere and asked me.

"Ruka." Sumire said on instinct. My eyes widened and face heated up, she just let it out. She let out one of my most embarrassing secrets out. That traitor. How could she?

"What about Ruka?"

"She likes him." Sumire pointed to me. Has she not realized what she just did to me? She just betrayed me and my trust.

"You like Ruka?" Nonoko asked surprised. "You actually like someone?!"

"Shut up! Or everyone will find out!"

"Calm down Mikan, you're so red right now." _Don't tell me to calm down. You don't know what I'm feeling like right now. And don't tell me I'm red that'll just make things worse! Sorry that I can't control my face!_

"We won't tell anyone... we promise." Hotaru finally spoke up. The emotionless look on her face gave me hope. She isn't one to tell someone's secrets (unlike the others) mainly because she doesn't like to hang around people, like myself.

I put on a fake smile but inside I was dying, wanting to hide in a dark corner and never leave. Maybe die, that would be better.

A month passed. School has started becoming school and I'm longing for summer break more than ever. And that black haired guy that sits next to Ruka, who I still don't know his name, I'm getting more curious about him. Maybe if I start talking to him, I'll get closer to Ruka. Sounds like a good plan. Right? A plan that will never happen.

I wonder if Ruka knows that I like him. I mean I'm so damn obvious. I can't help but stare at him at lunch and whenever I could. And most every time he caught me staring and I would turn into a red lobster. Why can't we just become a couple already? It's not that hard to see that I want to be his girlfriend. I know that if I want something done I should do it by myself. But once again, anxiety took over my mind and every time I would back down... waiting for him to talk to me. Plus I'm a little old fashion ... I think that the guy should make the first step.

It was October 20th... I logged onto Facebook when I saw that Sumire was online too.

Mikan – Why did you tell everyone that I liked Ruka?! You know that was one of my most important secrets!

This has been annoying me ever since she told Anna, Nonoko, and Hotaru. Of course I pretended like it didn't bother me because I didn't want to be a burden to my friends. They'll think I'm weaker than I am now and I can't have that, they might take advantage of my weaknesses.

Sumire – Seen at 4:35 pm

I waited ten minutes to see if she would respond since she was online and saw my message. After ten minutes... Nothing.

Mikan – Are you ignoring me?

Sumire – Seen at 4:48 pm

I waited another ten minutes, she's still online. I sighed and logged out ... she's ignoring me again. Why am I still surprised? Why does it still hurt?

I knew she would get tired of me eventually... everyone gets tired of me after a year or so. That how long all my past 'best friends' lasted. Only a year or less.

I meet up with Hotaru, Anna, and Nonoko the next morning in our usual spot while we were waiting for school to start. Once again, Sumire was not with us. She's been running late a lot lately. I texted her to ask where she was... she never replied. Why do I even bother anymore? She probably blocked me.

Anna and Nonoko were talking, Hotaru was standing there, and I was looking around the quad area. My eyes landed on Ruka and his group sitting at a table outside, nothing new. I usually stare at him during the mornings, it's the only time I can without being too obvious. But something _was_ new... _Sumire_ was at the table. With him. My eyes widened. Why is she over there laughing with him and his group and not with us? I thought we were her friends.

"Hey guys... Is-Isn't it that Sumire?" I asked my group while pointing to the table.

"Oh my gosh it is! What is she doing over there?!" Anna yelled.

"Seems like she decided to get new friends." Hotaru actually spoke.

"Why would she do that? I thought we were good friends to her. Did we do something wrong?" Nonoko asked. The hurt was visible through our eyes, besides Hotaru of course but if you knew her well enough you could tell that she felt betrayed too.

"Did anything happen between you and Sumire, Mikan?"

"No... I haven't done anything, at least nothing that I know of. She has been ignoring me a lot lately too."

The bell rang and we all grabbed our stuff and headed to class.

Sumire walked in late today, like she has lately, and sat next to me.

"Yah, where were you this morning?" I asked her. Even though I knew where she was I wanted to see if she would actually tell the truth. Maybe our friendship could be saved.

"I woke up late again... I just got here. You know how it is." She said smiling at me. How can she smile while she's lying straight to my face. I'm supposed to be her best friend. She then turned around and started to talk to her new 'friends'.

I sighed. My heart broke a little bit more. This is why I have little friends and trust issues.

It's going to be a long rest of the year.

* * *

Thank you so so sooo much for reading... I hope you're liking it so far w ... I'll try my best to update every Friday ... so look forward to more chapters ^~^

Hint: Next chapter Natsume finally enters officially ~~

I Do Not Own Anything

Date Published: 04/04/14


	4. Chapter 3

**_~Chapter 3~_**

"Ok class we're going to go to the quad area. The Advanced English Language class is holding presentations." Narumi-sensei said and everyone groaned. The Advanced English class does this every year. They hold little separate presentations that are about 10 minutes each about English speaking countries to educate us about English and their culture(s).

"I have posted your groups up on the board. There will be five groups since there are five presentations and you will switch presentations every ten minutes." Everyone got up and went to the board to see what groups they were placed in.

I searched for my name. I hope I'm with at least one of my friends, but knowing my luck I'm probably by myself. I saw my name. It was in group 1 and of course none of my friends were with me. I sighed. I didn't recognize any of the people in my group.

We all left the classroom; I walked with my friends before we had to split into our own groups. I looked at all the people in my group and noticed that Ruka's black haired friend was in the same group as I. I stood alone in the back of the group during the first presentation and so did the black haired guy.

When the presentation was coming to an end, they made us practice an old English dance and we had to be paired up. I started to panic, everyone started to pair up with their friends and I didn't know anyone. _Why does life hate me?_

All of a sudden someone walked up next to me. "I guess we're partners." I looked over. _Were they talking to me?_ I saw the black hair and my eyes widened. He walked in front of me so we were in the same position as everyone else. Oh my gosh I can feel my face heating up... I hope he doesn't see it.

The people started to teach us the dance. Which failed because everyone sucked at the danced and weren't really trying. _This is so awkward. I never danced with a guy before, besides my dad and brothers. Please let this stop soon. Hasn't it been ten minutes yet?_

The music stopped and everyone clapped since the presentation was over and now we were switching to another presentation.

During the next presentation, the black haired guy and I stood next to each other. It was like an unspoken agreement, we didn't want to be alone by ourselves so we would be loners together. But I feel bad, I keep calling him 'the black haired guy' when he has a name.

"H-Hey, what's your name?" I asked him randomly. _Oh my gosh why did I do that, that was out of nowhere. He's going to think that I'm some weird chic._

He looked over at me with his emotionless face. "Natsume. You?"

_What's my name? _"M-Mikan."

And that was it, we didn't really talk for the rest of the presentations. _I'm so stupid. I completely embarrassed myself. Urgh why do I have to be so stupid!_

When we got back to class, I plopped back into my seat and put my head down on the cold desk. It felt nice against my red, hot face. Why did I have to cursed with having such an easy blushing face. I hate it! Especially when people point it out and start to laugh, that only makes it worse.

Sumire sat down next to me, not even bothering to look over and try to talk with me. I sighed. I'm pretty sure our friendship is over. This is what I get for thinking that I would actually have one friend that I could tell everything to no matter how annoying, personal, or stupid it is. I should have seen this coming sooner. It started at the end of the last school year. She slowly changed to be like everyone else. The annoying girls with fake high voices that will throw themselves at any guy and wear their uniform skirts way too short. I thought I would be able to accept that she changed because that's what best friends do but she has pushed me away completely now... Fine if she doesn't what to be friends any more, I'll stop talking to her completely too. I mean I have my other friends. They're quite shocked, well Anna and Nonoko are, that Sumire has completely left our little friend circle. Hotaru was... well Hotaru, she didn't show anything like usual.

I have decided, from this moment on I will never have a 'best' friend because I'll get my hopes too high that someone accepts me for me only to have them crushed again. I'll only stick with 'close' friends. It's the only way for my heart not to break so much again.

It was morning again; I was waiting for my three friends to arrive at school like usual. I was sitting down and messing around on my phone to make it look like I was actually busy and not a loner.

I felt someone staring at me so I looked up and saw Natsume walking and staring right at me. I felt my heart skip a beat. I put on a fake smile and waved to him as if I was happy and not anti-social.

He nodded his head at me, I'm guessing that his way to say hi. He walked past me and my heart still hasn't calmed down. No this isn't the plan, I'm supposed to become friend with him so I could get closer to Ruka and turn around and like Natsume too. _Abort, Abort. _But then again that plan will never succeed because I'm too scared to talk to any person... nevertheless a guy!

Eventually my friends showed up and we began to talk to each other until the bell rang.

I was walking alone to P.E. because my friends left me because I took forever to get dressed. I put my body on autopilot as I walked because I went off into my own little depressing world.

I felt someone tap my shoulder and I slightly jumped and turned around to see Natsume walking behind me.

"Are you deaf or something? I've been calling your name for the past minute."

_Oh my gosh he hates me now. This is just great._ "Oh sorry, I was in lost in thought." Why was he even bothering to talk to me? We barely know each other.

"Tch." He made a sound. "I was asking why you weren't with your friends? Aren't you all like glued at the hip or something?"

I laughed nervously. "They left me behind because I was taking forever to get dressed and they didn't want to be late." Why am I telling him all this? I barely know him. Why was he alone? Should he be with Ruka and the rest of his group? Of course, I didn't ask this because I didn't want to seem nosy. This may be my only chance to become friends with him.

We walked at a comfortable pace next to each other. Although it was a little awkward... at least I felt awkward but did my best not to show it. _Why is he talking to me? I'm just a waste. I'm not even that attractive while he's like Damn. I bet there are hidden cameras around here just waiting. Seriously this is really bothering me._

We finally reached the Gym. I love gym class because it's the only time I can move around freely and not be yelled at to sit still, also I like to run because it takes away some of my energy so I'm not so rowdy when we go back to class.

"Damn what took you so long Mikan?!" Anna asked while she and Nonoko ran up to me.

"Sorry, I'm not feeling well today."

"Do we have to take you to the nurses?"

I smiled. "No I'm fine."

Soon after the teacher took attendance, we split up into pairs to do our stretches.

Hotaru was my partner today; she has been ever since Sumire left us. I did everything while she just stood there. God forbid Hotaru actually does something in P.E.

* * *

Well it's Friday and here's the update~~ You like it so far? I hope you do. They finally started talking! Also Spring Break just started meaning I get a week off of school ~~! And I have no (social) life which means I'll be writing a lot more chapters in my "spare" time. Until next Friday. Thank you for reading and Bye Bye~~! (◡‿◡✿)

I Do Not Own Anything

Date Published: 04/11/14


	5. Chapter 4

**_~Chapter 4~_**

*Now Natsume is going to be more OOC, (although he kind already OOC) just warning you*

It's now November...

Lately Natsume and I have been talking more, of course not in class but whenever we are alone we would chat a little bit. I really like it, I feel comfortable with him, not too comfortable that I'll tell my deep, dark secrets to him. Sometimes it feels like we are actually flirting with each other, though we have a really weird way of flirting, it's usually us making fun of the other. It's really awkward because I have never been like this with anyone before but I usually go with the flow. I've never flirted before, how are you supposed to do this?

Today we were walking to the lunchroom. My stomach growled and I quickly covered it and started blushing.

"Looks like someone is a little hungry... didn't you just eat during the period break?"

"Shut up! I didn't have breakfast this morning. And at least I'm not a fat ass like you." I played around with him.

"How am I a fat ass?"

"You eat like five chicken sandwiches every day. How are you not a fat ass?"

He pushed me lightly as I laughed at him. This was nice. I felt comfortable around him and I have opened up to him a little bit. A lot quicker compared to other people that decided to be my friend.

"I'm a growing guy I need to eat a lot. But whatever I'm done dealing with you." He said then left to go sit with his friends and I went to find mine. Talking to him always makes me laugh and it brightens my day. I love messing with him. Damn I think I'm falling for him too.

Anna groaned as she sat down with her food. "I really need to get a boyfriend. I'm tired of being lonely."

"I agreed with you." Nonoko said and I just nodded to her.

"Why would you want a boyfriend? They only bring trouble and distant you away from your friends." Hotaru said. "Take Sumire for example."

"Promise that if any of us get a boyfriend that we'll never drift apart from each other." Nonoko said and we all promised.

I started to laugh. "I don't think we have to worry about Hotaru getting a boyfriend, she scares them all away."

"I am an independent women, I don't need a man. Plus they're all dogs, they only think with their dicks." She said.

"That is true." Anna said. "Why can't there be a few perfect guys at this school that I could actually have a chance with? Life isn't fair."

"Anna we only entered high school like two months ago, we still have two years and 7 months left to find love. Plus there's always college where most guys there are more mature and hotter." Nonoko said with a wink and they started giggling.

"You guys are too desperate." I said shaking my head at them.

"What?! I bet you are too... I see the way you look at Ruka lately, it's as if you want to jump him any second." Anna fired back. I instantly covered my face because it was getting hot meaning I was turning hella red. I really need new friends.

It was Friday and once again I was walking with Natsume to lunch. He was more quiet today than usual.

"I'm leaving at the end of this month." He randomly said.

_What?_ "What? What do you mean leaving?"

"I've been living with my aunt and uncle since my dad got laid off his job during summer. He's has found a job in Nagasaki and he wants me to go live with him."

My eyes widened. _No I don't want him to leave, I just made a new friend._ _Nagasaki is so far away from Tokyo too. We won't be able to see each other._

"Really? But you just got here."

"I know."

"When are you leaving?"

"About two weeks from now."

I stopped and stared at him. "And you're just telling me this now?"

"Hey I haven't told anyone else yet so keep it a secret." My heart started to beat faster. _He actually trust me to keep this a secret and I was the first person he told. I feel so special~~! Does that mean Ruka doesn't know either?_

"Fine."

"Here give me your number and email so we can keep in contact." _Oh my gosh someone is actually asking for my number... Don't do anything stupid._

"A-Ah ok..." My heart kept beating fast but I tried to act cool like this isn't the first time someone (cute) wanted my number. He handed me his phone and vice versa. We added each other and then separated because we were already running late for lunch.

_This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be his friend so I can get closer to Ruka, not fall for him instead._

I sat down at the table with my dinner right in front of me. My family wasn't home to eat with me so I was by myself. Not that I minded. I actually liked it because the house was quiet for once. I didn't like loud noises because my ears are really sensitive to sounds to and it would just give me a head ache. Especially when Youichi decides to be a little fire cracker and scream at the top of his lungs.

As soon as I took the first bite of my food my phone vibrated signaling that I received a text message. I turned my screen on to see who it was and my heart stopped.

**New Text Message: _Natsume_**

_Oh my gosh oh my gosh. Is this real life? Why is he texting me? Should I respond now? No it'll just make me look desperate. I wonder what he sent. _

I opened the message and all it said was 'hi'. But damn that was enough for my body to go numb.

'Hey.' I responded. I pressed the send button then quickly put my phone down, covered my face with my hands, and let out a small scream. This wasn't happening.

**Natsume- What's up?**

**Mikan- Nothing much just eating...you?**

**Natsume- Just watching TV.**

**I groaned. "Urgh how am I supposed to respond to that!?" then my phone vibrated again.**

**Natsume- Can I ask you something?**

**Mikan- Sure.**

My heart need to stop beating so fast. It's just probably a simple question.

**Natsume- I know you probably don't like me but I was wondering if you want to go out with me.**

_WHAT?! Holy Shit! Someone that I like actually asked me out ~~ Wait that means he likes me too! AAAAHHHH! This isn't happening. This is all a dream._

**Natsume- It can just be the two weeks until I leave but I really like you.**

_He said it. He said that he likes me. He really likes me. What is life? My heart is about to explode. Play it cool Mikan._

**Mikan- I'd love to.**

_Oh my gosh did I just put that... Why did I send that?_

**Natsume- Great. I know I'm probably not your type but I really do like you.**

_Damn it he need to stop saying that. I'm so glad my family isn't here._

**Mikan- No it's ok. I don't really have a type. My only things is that you're nice to me.**

**Natsume- That's good... well it's late and I need to start packing.**

**Mikan- Ok. Bye Bye.**

**Natsume- Bye.**

What just happened? Did I just get my first boyfriend? Oh my gosh this isn't real? How am I supposed to face him on Monday?

I got up and put my food away. I didn't have an appetite anymore. I grabbed my phone then ran upstairs to my room and fell onto my bed. This is great. I actually have a boyfriend and he _actually_ likes me. But why does he like me? I'm not even pretty and I'm really weird and awkward. And he's really handsome and confident. I hope he's not playing with me and I'm really on some hidden camera show. Gotta play it cool in case there are cameras.

I feel asleep early that night with a smile on my face.

November 21st, the day I got my first boyfriend.

* * *

Yup this is basically how my boyfriend and I met, became friends, and then started dating. I think it's really cute because it was young love, we were both shy and awkward about everything and everything was innocent.

Hey is any of my readers fluent in Mandarin Chinese? I'm trying to learn/teach myself since I will be visiting China over Summer Break~~. If you are please PM me if you can/want to message me. Thank you. And thank you for reading. See you next Friday ~~

I Do Not Own Anything

Date Published: 04/18/14


	6. Chapter 5

**_~Chapter 5~_**

It was Monday and I'm scared. I never had a boyfriend before. What are you supposed to feed them? How many times a day do you walk them? Where do they sleep? On the ground or should I get him a little bed? Will I be a good girlfriend? Will he accept me for who I really am once he finds out? Why does this have to be so difficult?!

I played it cool when I got to school. I acted as if nothing was different. It worked out pretty well because even Hotaru didn't notice anything. Or she has and she's just not telling me.

When we walked into class and my eyes instantly looked around for Natsume. My heart sped up when I saw him, he wasn't facing my direction but he must have felt my stare because he turned around and stared right at me. That froze me and I stopped breathing. This is real. _This is real!_

I tried to smile at him and he nodded back at me. Even the small actions sends my heart speeding.

I sat in my seat when class started and I could feel his eyes on me. Is it getting hot in here?

We didn't talk in class and just kept up with our routine of talking on the way to lunch. I guess he doesn't want people to know about our relationship. I'm more than perfectly fine with that because I don't want the attention and what if it doesn't work out. I don't want people to pity me, especially the ones that are fake. Those just annoy the hell out of me.

"So do you want to hang out this weekend?" He asked me.

"S-Sure. I don't think I'm doing anything."

"Let's go to the park on Saturday."

"Sure. I'll just have to ask my parents so they can drive me."

"Cool. I'll text you what time once I ask my aunt and uncle... I'll see you later."

I smiled then started to walk off like usual but I didn't get far because he pulled me into a hug. _Holy Shit! Can he feel my heart racing?_ I was not expecting that but I guess it makes sense since we are going out.

I felt my face heat up. _I'm blushing just from a simple hug. Everyone hugs. How am I going to survive if we do advance to holding hands and kissing? I'm going to die from a heart attack! But damn he smells nice._

"See you after lunch." He whispered in my ear and I almost screamed.

I covered my face with my hand so he wouldn't see how red I was. "S-S-See you." Then I ran off trying to take deep breathes so my face would return back to normal. I swear he loves to mess with me just to make me blush. That bastard.

For the rest of the week it was like that. We wouldn't talk during class, but occasionally we would sneak glances at each other which would end with me blushing. We would usually just talk on our way to lunch, gym, and when we're walking out of the school at the end of the day. I think we had a cute, innocent relationship. He even told me that this was his first real relationship too. That made me a little bit more relaxed since I'm not the only new one to relationships and that we'll learn together.

"So about Saturday," He started. _Oh no this isn't good_. "My aunt said I can't go because she wants me home to pack more and finalize everything before I go."

"Oh." I tried to show that I wasn't disappointed because it would make him feel bad. I was really looking forward to it. I even asked my mom to take me and told her not to tell my dad since he'll get his gun out because he's very protective of me.

"I'm really sorry."

I put on a smile. "No it's alright. Moving is a big deal and takes a long time. No biggie." _Although I'm crushed on the inside, he doesn't need to know that._ "We can always video chat."

He nodded then gave me a hug goodbye. I'm never going to get over these hugs and I'm going to miss them when he's gone. And it's sad because it's only been a week and I'm already sounding like a love sick person.

Today is the day. Natsume is leaving today. I wrapped a small going-away present. I didn't really want him to go away but when he does, he'll have something to remind him of me. It was a little bear. I love bears. I have about nine stuffed bears, a bear pen, bear chopsticks, and a big bear blanket that I sleep with every night. Yes, I am obsessed with bears.

Anyways, I put one of my bears, that I named Kai, into a small box and then wrapped it. I know he probably isn't expecting anything but I think he will appreciate this. Or at least I hope he will. The least he can do is act like he does and once I'm gone he can throw it away. I won't know the difference.

I also wrote a small note before I wrapped the box up. It said:

**This is Kai, he's my favorite bear and very important to me. You'll take care of him for me right? I hope you'll be happy in your new place. Don't forget about me! Let's message and Skype a lot! Have a nice flight. Text me when you arrived to your new home~ I'll miss you!**

**-Mikan ^w^**

_Is this too much? Is it too early in the relationship to say that I'll miss him? What about giving gifts? Too early also? Does this make me see obsessed and clingy?_

It was time to go. I packed the gift in my backpack and ran to the car where my mom was waiting for me.

I'm dreading today. I don't want him to leave. My first relationship and it'll be a long distance one. From what I hear, those don't last ever long because they don't really talk to each other nor can they hang out and be like normal couples. And it's so early in our relationship that with this it may not last long unless we put effort into it.

I tried to act as if everything was normal when I got into class. So did Natsume. I'm guessing he never told anyone he was leaving or the classroom would look like a party room.

He didn't act any different when we were in class either. He's probably too happy that he's leaving to worry about being sad and missing people (aka me). He told me once that he hated Tokyo because it was too big, loud, and crowded. I didn't like it here either but it's been my home for the past 15 years so I've grown to at least stand it.

We were walking out of the school since school was over. We didn't really say anything while we walked. It was very awkward, this was our last day together and we're not talking. Also this gift was practically burning a hole in my backpack. I'm so nervous to give it to him.

"So let's Skype with weekend before I leave." He said out of nowhere.

"S-Sure... it just depends on the time because I have to get to bed by 9 pm or I won't be pleasant the next day. Sorry but I love my sleep more than anything else." It's true. I don't care if he's my boyfriend that's moving away in a few days... sleep is more important.

"I'll try to Skype you before 9. I have to go now."

"Wait!" I said as he started to walk away. I zipped open my backpack and pulled out his gift.

He stared at me then as the gift for a seconds. _I knew he would think this was strange. Why did I do this? I'm so stupid. He'll think I'm desperate and clingy then he'll want to break up with me. I don't want to break up with him, at least not this early in our relationship._

"What's this?" he asked taking the gift from me.

"It's a going away gift... but don't open it right now ... open it later when you're leaving." I said gave him a swift hug, said goodbye, then ran off before he could do anything.

_Gosh, I'm so stupid. It's our last day together and I blew it. I ran away without giving him a proper goodbye. Urgh I'm so stupid. Why?!_

"Was that your friend Mikan? The one that's moving away?" My mom asked as I jumped into the car.

"Friend? O-Oh yeah. That was him." I said trying to be awkward about it. Which failed. I suck at lying.

* * *

Yup another chapter! Do you like it? I hope you do. I actually gave my boyfriend a stuffed panda instead of a bear, because I absolutely love pandas. And his (the pandas) name was Kai. I love that name! (I named him Kai before Jongin (aka Kai) from EXO debuted, just so you know. And yes I listen to Kpop).

I'm sorry for not updating yesterday. I totally forgot that it was Friday and the I had to update until I was already falling asleep. I'm so so so so sorry~~ Please forgive me TT﹏TT.

Just a FYI, this story won't really focus on romance and stuff like that (mainly because you can't have much 'romance'/'physical relationships' with a long-distance relationship). This story focuses more on really a life a teenager, all the problems, and everything that happens as she transitions into an adult. I hope you will continue reading even after I said that. Please don't be disappointed in me. Until next Friday... Bye Bye~~

I Do Not Own Anything

Date Published: 04/26/14


	7. Chapter 6

**_~Chapter 6~_**

It was Sunday night... Natsume and I have talked (texted) every day and tonight we were planning on Skyping each other. We planned it for 6 pm so we would have time to talk and I would get to bed on time. I logged in at 5:50 pm... and right now it's 7:45 pm. I sighed.

_I hope he didn't forget about me. He probably did since I'm not that important. Or he's probably laughing at me at how desperate I look. Urgh I hate when people make me wait. It gives me anxiety don't they know! Of course they don't because I never told anyone about my anxiety. This is why I don't make friend, it just gives me more anxiety. Where the hell is he? This is really pissing me off. I understand people wanting to be like 'fashionably late' but an hour and 45 minutes late is uncalled for. He could at least told me he couldn't make it on time. why do relationships have to be so hard?_

I looked at the clock again... 7:50 pm. I groaned. It's only been five minutes, why is time going so slow? Yes, I am a very impatient person most of the time. I was trained as a child to always be on time or early to an event. If the event was at 5, I would show up anywhere between 4:30 and 5.

A noise went off on my computer bringing me out of my thoughts. I saw something pop up on my screen.

_Hyuuga Natsume – Online_

Ohmygosh, he's online. _Finally_. What do I do? I shouldn't message him right away that will make me seem extremely clingy and desperate. What if he's waiting for me to message him first? Shouldn't the guy start the conversation (so I am old fashion, sue me).

I just waited for something to happen. Eventually something did happen. A new window popped open on my screen. It was him. My heart was racing and I haven't even read the message yet.

Natsume – Sorry I'm late. I had family over.

And with that all my anger that he caused me disappeared. I'm too nice and soft to stay mad at someone, especially him.

Mikan – It's ok. I understand... but don't expect me to stay up longer just because you logged in later.

Ok so maybe not all my anger went away. No one makes me wait and expect me to extend my schedule for them. I'm not _that_ nice no matter who you are.

Natsume – Also we can't video chat because my audio isn't working. I don't have a microphone on my computer.

What? No microphone? Every computer has a microphone unless it was a computer from the dinosaur age. I'm going to have to call bullshit on that excuse. But we can't video chat? That's what I was looking forward to the most. Even without any audio I still want to see his damn face. There goes another chunk of my good mood.

Mikan – Oh. Well hopefully next time we try to chat it will work ^^.

We chatted for another hour ... soon that hour turned into two hours. By that time, it was almost 10:00pm. I started to freak out. That bastard kept me up past my bed time. Tomorrow isn't going to look very nice for me.

Mikan – Holy shit it's almost 10 I have to go and get to bed.

Natsume – No stay on a little longer.

Mikan – No I should have logged off and went to sleep an hour ago. You're lucky I didn't notice it then.

Natsume – Come on~~

Mikan – I said no.

I get very pissy when don't listen to me when I say no. In my vocabulary no means no and it irks me when people don't get it and try to do what I told them not to.

Natsume – But I won't get to talk to you for like another week or more.

Mikan – we can always text each other. Good night.

Natsume – But...

Mikan – I said good night!

Just so you know, I have a (little) dominance problem, especially when people don't listen to me. It doesn't really make sense to me. I think that I'm better/more intelligent than most everyone but at the same time I'm also very shy and scared of people. I'm so weird, I contradict myself! That doesn't make sense. Why did life make me like this?

Natsume – Fine good night.

You could tell that he wasn't very happy but I don't care, I'm super tired. Maybe I'll care tomorrow and hate myself for making him mad. Damn I'm going to be so tired tomorrow.

4:56 am. I opened my eyes, grabbed my phone, and looked at the time. I groaned. Why does this always happen? I always wake up before my alarm goes off! I hate it.

5:00 am. My phone starts playing _The Beginning_ by One OK Rock (one of the best bands in the world in my opinion).It signals me to start getting ready for school. I swipe the cancel button to the side so the music stops playing and then I sit up. A good thing about having somewhat ADHD is that once you're up, you're up. No snooze button and sleeping for five more minutes, which turns into an hour and then you're late for school. At least my mom told my brothers and I that walking up early and at the same time every day is normal for people with ADHD (?) since we always did that, even when we were young. Youichi even does it and he's only a few years old and has ADHD also (along with a lot of other stuff like he's bipolar). It seems like ADHD runs in the family. Anyways, I'm not quite sure, I never did research on ADHD symptoms, I just excepted that I had it.

I trudged to the bathroom where I didn't turn on the light and just sat on the toilet until I was done relieving myself. I got up washed my hands then brushed my teeth. Yes I brush my teeth first before I eat because I know I will forget to brush them after I eat and at least brushing them before I eat is better than not brushing them at all. At least my logic says so, but then again my logic never makes sense to other people. Also I don't like turning on the lights in the morning because they're too bright for someone who just woke up. I practically know where everything is with my eyes closed so I didn't really need the light.

I walked out of the bathroom and back to my room. There I turned on the light so I could find my uniform. I found it then got dressed, brushed my hair, put on accessories then went back to my bed and picked up my laptop. I turned it on and then grabbed my lotion bottle. I always put on lotion while I'm waiting for my computer to start up.

It eventually started up and I was instantly on the internet. I started with Facebook- nothing new, then went to Tumblr- nothing really new on there but of course once you login to Tumblr you can't leave. So I was on there for like 45 minutes until I had to pull myself away to finish getting ready for school.

I got off my bed then went to find my shoes and then put eyeliner on along with some deodorant and perfume. I can't have myself smelling bad.

It was almost 6:00. I turned off my laptop (kind of mad that I didn't have time to read any fanfics because I spent most of my time on Tumblr), grabbed my backpack, then headed downstairs where I waited for my breakfast.

My head fell onto the table.

"What's wrong with you?" My dad asked as he stared at me.

"It's Monday and I'm tired." I mumbled.

"Hopefully this will help you wake up." My mom said as she placed a small breakfast meal on the table for all of us to eat. We started to eat because we didn't have much time left.

I liked eating with my parents when it was just us and not with Tsubasa or Youichi. Whenever they're around, everything is ruined. At least when it's just my parents and I, it's quiet and peaceful.

We finished our breakfast, cleaned our dishes, then left the house. My dad was going to work while my mom was going to take me to school.

It was quiet in the car, minus the radio playing. But once again, I liked it since there was a peaceful atmosphere in the car and it helped me be less anxious/nervous about going to school. I still have anxiety about going to school even though it's been like 3 months since school started.

My mom stopped in front of the school and I got out and quickly ran so I wouldn't hold up the drop-off line.

School was the same as always. Anxiety throughout the classes, pain from sitting next to Sumire and wondering where we went wrong, eating lunch with my friends which always made me happy, then more anxiety as the day continues, and eventually the bell ringing and everyone going home.

I waited for my mom to come pick me up, she eventually came and I hopped in the car and we drove off.

When we arrived home. I made myself a bowl of cereal. I love having cereal when I come home from school. It refreshes me. After that I went to my room, turned on my laptop, continued with Tumblr and eventually started reading my daily dose of fan fiction. Around 4, I started on my homework which lasted until almost 7. Then I went downstairs as dinner was ready. This time my whole family was sitting at the table, which means Tsubasa was there too which surprised me because he usually never eats with us. After we finished eating, I took a shower. Then went back to my room and finished my homework, somewhat. Somehow I ended back on Tumblr, Youtube, and Fan Fiction all at the same time.

By 9:00, I turned (forcibly) off my laptop, turned off my lights, laid down, and went to bed preparing myself for the cycle to start all over again tomorrow morning at 5:00 am.

* * *

So I didn't know what to write after the Skype scene and I didn't want to just end it there because the chapter would be too short, so I just gave insight to what a normal day is like for Mikan. You could say is was somewhat of a filler. Also if you don't listen to One OK Rock, you have to, they are one of the best J-Rock bands ever (of course (once again) in my opinion) I absolutely love them. Thanks for reading. I hope you liked this chapter (even though there was a lot of rambling and 'filler'). See you next Friday~~

I Don't Own Anything

Date Published: 05/02/14


	8. Chapter 7

**_~Chapter 7~_**

A/N: This will focus more on her home life and what it's like since everything so far just focused on her school life.

It was Friday and as soon as I got home from school, I plopped down on my bed. My sweet bed. It's always here for me, to comfort me, to allow me to have a nice rest on it. I was too lazy to do anything so I just stayed on my bed until I got the energy to actually move.

While I was lying down, I started to think about everything and anything. Usually when this happens I make myself depressed that's why I don't like thinking for every long so I do things to distract myself from life, reality, my own mind, everything.

Today I thought about the usual stuff like how it was very lonely at school since I lost my best friend _and_ my boyfriend moved away. I still can't believe I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend that still hasn't messaged me since he left! Ok I lied, he has once..._once_. That was when he landed in his new home telling me he arrived safely. But I understand because he's trying to get settled into his new home. That can be times consuming. But he could at least text me every once and a while. Like maybe right before he goes to bed or something. Is that too much to ask? Am I being too demanding? Does that make me sound too clingy or like an attention whore?

I guess I kind of am an attention whore just because I'm usually alone and when I get attention (that I actually want), I'll absorb it like a sponge and still try to get more. The best attention I like is when I'm chatting with someone. It's always easier for me be myself when I'm on the internet compared to in real life. I'm too shy and have too much anxiety to actually talk to people in real life. Of course there are always the exceptions like my friends, but even with them I can't truly be myself because I know they will judge me and stop being my friends. That's what happened with Sumire and look at our past friendship and where that ended up at. If I show people my true self, they'll find me annoying and start to ignore me. Gosh why do I have to be like this? Why can't I be the least bit normal? That's probably why Natsume isn't messaging me, he's found out how annoying and insecure I am so he's saving himself before I get too attached to him. He's a smart guy... I would do that too if I were him. Damn I'm going to end up alone forever with my hundreds of cats and dogs that I pick up off the street.

Anyways... I was finally bored of just lying there and too depressed that I had to do something to distract myself. I got up off my bed and changed my clothes. Wow does it feel so nice to change into something more loose and comfortable.

After I got done changing, I just stood there and stared into the full-body mirror. I examined myself. Call me vain or narcissist but sometimes I just liked to look at myself. Most of the time I was fine with the way I looked. I had a nice body, so I like to think. I wasn't fat, if anything I was underweight but not too much that all I was was skin and bones. I had a little meat to my bones. Although I barely had a noticeable chest and butt, that was the only real bad thing about my body. My hair was great... I had nice hair, I really like my hair. It's probably my best feature. My face wasn't ugly but at the same time it wasn't the prettiest thing ever. I liked my face... as long as it wasn't red and full of acne. I had nice eyes, nice eyebrows, a cute mouth and a nice smile, an alright nose, and a round cute face. There isn't really anything that I would want to change about my appearance. I was pleased with myself, unlike most girls that hated the way they looked and will cover their face in make up or get surgery to change something. I was happy that I was able to accept myself and the way I look. Now if only I can change who I am on the inside.

I stopped looking in the mirror and headed downstairs to fix myself something to eat.

Tsubasa was actually downstairs (nevertheless actually home) on the couch texting people while his dirty plates were on the table. I swear that kid never cleans up after himself. What is he going to do when he moves out of the house? Is his apartment never going to be cleaned or will he hire a maid because he's so damn lazy to clean.

Youichi was sitting on the couch in the living room , too, watching his kid shows. For once he was quiet. That is... until he saw me.

"Auntie!" He yelled. I closed my eyes and sighed. Now he calls me 'Aunt' or 'Auntie' because Tsubasa thought it would be fun if we had Youichi call us aunt and uncle in another language (*A/N: Remember they speak Japanese so Youichi actually says Aunt and Uncle in English).

"Youichi go sit back down and watch TV." I told him as he was jumping off the couch. I didn't want to deal with him right now. Actually, I never want to deal with him. Whenever I do, it ends up with him crying and me yelling/having a mental breakdown. I am not suited to watch kids or have kids of my own because they might end up like Youichi and I can't have that.

I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. Of course, I pulled out the cereal and milk. The best after school snack/meal.

I sat down at the table with my cereal and started to eat. I started to glare at my brother. And he felt it.

"What?" He asked kind of glaring back at me.

"You're a pig. Why do you never clean up after yourself?" I said while making a gross face.

"Shut up. I'll put it away soon."

"More like you'll leave it on the table and make mom do it." I murmured while starting to eat my cereal.

He just rolled his eyes and went back to whatever he was doing on his phone.

I looked back at where Youichi was. He was basically strangling and crushing our dog. Yes we have a dog, actually we have four dogs, all female dogs. My parents have a soft spot for animals, especially dogs, so we always keep stray dogs or get dogs from animal shelters. I have a major soft spot for dogs.

The one Youichi was on was my dad's dog. We all had our own dog. My dad's dog was the 'newest' dog (even though we had her for about a year and a half) named Sasai, she is a yellow Labrador, about 3 or 4 years old, and loves water and is extremely hyper. We think that she has a dog version of ADHD.

My mom's dog is also a yellow Labrador who is about 15 years old. Her name is Kazuki (nickname: Kazu) and she is my childhood friend. My parents bought her, and our other dog named Akihi (nickname: Aki) who sadly passed away when I was in the 5th grade, a few months before I was born. She (or I should say they- Kazu and Aki) were not even a year old when I was born so we were pretty much the same age. I have tons of memories with Kazu and Aki since we all grew up together. I always like to think that we three have a special connection since we are/were the same age. But once again, Aki sadly passed away and Kazu was getting up in her (dog) years so that really makes me sad because soon all of my childhood friends/pets will be gone.

Then there is my 5-year-old dog Rin, she's a Chinese Shar Pei mixed with a German Sheppard and is the cutest thing ever. She is unique in personality and physically, she's the sweetest thing but she is very shy, calm, likes the quiet, and likes to be alone... basically me in a dog version. Rin had a pain full past as a puppy, she's been to about 7 different families and about 3 of those families abused her so she's really scared of people, especially men. When we went to the animal shelter to look for another playmate for Kazu after Aki passed, Rin was the perfect one for Kazu and my family even though she has problems. I remember walking up to where Rin was held at the animal shelter and Rin only came to me, she didn't even go to the animal shelter workers. Rin was always at my side so that's how she became my dog. Today Rin still runs and hides from people but she is very comfortable in my family. She actually acts like a true dog sometimes but most of the time she's like a lone wolf that usually stays in a dark corner that makes her feel comfortable and at peace. Rin really looks up to Kazu, it's most likely a dog-dominance thing, like how wolves have an alpha, Kazu is kind of like that alpha in our pack of dogs and is slowly kind of teacheing Rin how to be the 'alpha' since Kazu won't be here forever. Rin and Kazu are the reasons why we adopted Sasai. Since Kazu is getting older, she is less active and Rin still has energy so we got Sasai hoping that Sasai could help Rin be more active and playful. It kind of worked.

Lastly there is Eiki, she is Tsubasa's little dog. She is a small brown dog but she is also 5 years old like Rin is. She wasn't from an animal shelter like all our other dogs so she is a little spoiled, especially since she is a retired show dog. My parents got her from a friend of theirs and gave her to my brother as a Christmas present when I was in the 5th grade.

Anyway, back to the story. Youichi was on Sasai and tugging at her collar so she could barely breathe. I swear this kid can never be kind to anything.

"Youichi get off the dog." I said in a stern voice. He just looked at me and did nothing. That pisses me off when he doesn't listen. I know I have a dominance problem but he should know by now to respect his elder and listen to them when they tell him to do something.

"Yah don't make me tell you again!" I raised my voice a little bit and he finally got it and got off Sasai. This kid will be the death of me and the dogs. Sometimes I hate how I am the youngest since I never had any experience with dealing with younger siblings and Youichi is basically the younger sibling I never had/never really wanted and I don't really know how to deal with him.

I finished my cereal and went to the kitchen to clean my bowl and put it away. Tsubasa still hasn't put his stuff away. I rolled my eyes and I went back up to my room. I sat on my bed and grabbed my laptop. This is my heaven. Sitting on my bed, with my laptop, with a full stomach, being away from society and social events, and just relaxing while reading some good fanfics and listening to some good music.

* * *

*My nephews (I actually have more than one but I decided to only put one nephew in the story because my nephews have practically the same personality) actually call my brother 'Tío' and I 'Tía' but since they are Japanese I decided to change the language if that makes sense. It probably doesn't but aye.

Sorry that I always go off on tangents/jump around. I can't think that long on one topic or I'll lose interest and stop writing. That's how I am, if something is on my mind I will write it down if someone is not here to stop me (even if it's all random or doesn't make sense). Also I haven't really explained everything and I really want to explain it all so it's more understanding and personal so it gives more emotion/feelings aka I like to explain things most of the time in detail.

Anyway, thank you for reading. You have come a long way. Thank you for sticking with me even though this may not be that good and it's very random, kind of. Thank you again. Have a safe week. Until next Friday. Bye Bye!

I Don't Own Anything

Date Published: 05/10/14


	9. Chapter 8

**_~Chapter 8~_**

"So you're brothers coming to visit for Christmas." My mom said out of nowhere.

I looked up from my phone and just stared at her. "What?!"

"You heard me."

"Which brother?" If it's Rei, I can stand him for a day or so. While if it was Akira, I can only stand him for a few minutes. Rei doesn't talk as much as Akira does, that's why I can stand Rei longer. But after a while Rei's depressing atmosphere and way of thinking get to be too much. I don't know which one I'd rather live with. Rei and his sad life or Akira and his never shutting mouth.

"Akira."

I groaned. _DAMN IT!_ That just made my day (hint: sarcasm).

"There goes my Winter Break and my peace and quiet... When is he coming?"

"I'm going to pick him up from the train station tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?! And you're just telling me now?! Gosh you guys never tell me anything!" I said while getting up and heading to the kitchen.

I grabbed some tape and a sharpie. Then I went to refrigerator/freezer and started to label my name on foods that I wanted to eat. Then I went to the cabinets and grabbed food.

"What are you doing?" My mom asked.

"I'm taking the food I want to eat to my room so Akira won't eat them because you know he will eat _anything_ in sight. I hope he gets the hint not to eat the food that has my name on it. But knowing him he probably will so I have to try to eat everything before he arrives tomorrow or at least eat it before he does." And with that I went to my room with a bunch of food in my arms.

I woke up to the sound of Youichi screaming.

"Daddy!" He yelled and I sighed, groaned, and screamed into my pillow. I wanted to cry. Akira was here. Not only do I have to deal with ADHD/Bipolar Youichi but now I have to deal with his ADHD father. Plus whenever Akira comes, Youichi becomes so fucking loud and more irritating then he already is. This is going to be great.

I got off my bed and headed downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen and pretended that I didn't see everyone in the living room.

"Mikan get over here and greet your brother." My mom said and I rolled my eyes.

"I'd rather not." I said while I pulled out a cereal bowl.

"Mikan." My mom said in her mother-demanding voice.

I turned and faced them, more like glaring at them. One, they woke me up from my sleep at 6 am when it's my first day of Winter Break. Two, Akira was here.

"Do I have to?" I asked putting on a disgusted face.

Akira got up and headed towards me and I tried to get away. "Come on little sis. I haven't seen you in a while." He said as he gave me a hug and I had to hold my breath because he smelt like cigarettes.

"There's a reason why. Gosh you stink, do you ever take a shower or wash your clothes?"

"You do stink Akira." My mother agreed but he just shrugged and I rolled my eyes again.

"Didn't you miss my little sis?"

"No. and I won't miss you if you left right now."

"You're so mean to me."

"Gee I wonder why." Every time Akira is around me I get into a pissy, sassy mood. It doesn't help that every time he visits, he eats my food. I am very serious about my food and sleep. "Don't you have someone else to bother?"

"No, Tsubasa isn't up yet."

Damn that boy. Tsubasa always gets out of things because he's always 'sleeping'. Why can't I be like Tsubasa and sleep through anything.

"Daddy~~" Youichi whined very loudly since he wasn't getting his father's attention.

"Youichi be quiet. It's too early for your annoying voice." I said while sitting down with my cereal.

Akira went back to the couch, sat down, and placed Youichi on his lap.

"You know I met a new girl back home. I can't wait until I have sex with her and she'll give me a baby girl."

"Akira!" My mom yelled then smacked Akira on the arm. "You can't talk like that in front of a child." She looked at Youichi who looked clueless.

"What?! He's going to learn about this sooner or later, why not sooner." I rolled my eyes as I sat down at the table with my cereal. This guy.

"He's five years old! He barely learned to count to 20 and he doesn't even know how to write yet." She said.

"Well, well, well," I heard Tsubasa's voice then saw him walking into the living room. "Look who's finally out of jail." Then he and Akira did a bro hug.

"C'mon, I was only in there for 3 months this time."

"_This time._" I said under my breath.

"But I have to go back after New Years because I have court hearing."

"What'd you do now?" My dad said not sounding surprised.

Akira smiled. "Apparently I was drunk and I hit a cop."

"And you wonder why CPS took your kid away!" I yelled at him. He is so stupid.

"Hey, I can take care of my kid perfectly fine. I'm telling you it's his mom fault for doing all those drugs around him."

"How?! You're always in jail! When CPS took him away and put him in a foster home, you were in jail. Not to mention you had to go to the hospital because you had a stroke when working out because of all those cigarettes you smoke! You are no better than his mom. How can you take care of a child when you are either in jail or in the hospital? Plus you don't even live in a decent home. What do you expect grandpa to take care of Youichi while you're gone?" Yes Akira lives with our grandfather from our mothers side because he never finished high school, which means no college and that equals no job. So our grandfather is supporting him since my dad won't let him live in our house. Akira and my dad... let's just say they don't see eye to eye.

"But did you hear, his mom just knocked up and is pregnant again." Akira said. I swear what I just said went in one ear and out the other. I can't stand this guy.

"You better tell her we aren't raising another one." My dad said.

"Also she has a court hearing too soon. I guess her new boyfriend, along with her and a few of his friends, stole some stuff. She isn't getting charged as much as the others because she was the get-away driver." How many times in less than an hour can I roll my eyes. Why are people so stupid? Why do I have to be related to these stupid people? Did I do something wrong in a past life or something and this is my punishment?

I couldn't stand it anymore. I took my empty cereal bowl, cleaned it, then went back to my room. My safe haven.

I turned on my laptop and logged into Skype. I was surprised when I saw Natsume on. I waited a few minutes before I started talking to him because I didn't want to seem desperate.

Mikan- So my brother is visiting for the holidays. He's only been here less than an hour and I already want to kill him.

Natsume- I'm sorry. I don't have that pain. I don't have any brothers, only a younger sister.

Mikan- You have a younger sister? That's so cute! What's her name?

Natsume- Aoi. She's a pain in the ass most of the time so I wouldn't call her cute.

Mikan- Well at least you have a younger sister and not three older brothers, which I might add mental unstable.

Natsume- That's true.

This guy doesn't know how to keep a conversation going.

Mikan- Sooooo... When's your birthday?

Natsume- November 27th, you?

Mikan- January 1st... So you're birthday already passed and you didn't bother to tell me?!

Natsume- Yeah. But how about you? How does it feel to have a birthday on New Years?

Mikan- It's alright. Although most people forget it's my birthday because they're too busy celebrating New Years. But sometimes it can be fun.

Natsume- MmHmm...

I rolled my eyes.

Mikan- You cannot keep a conversation can you?

Natsume- No not really. I'm not one for talking for a long time.

Is that his way of saying he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? He probably hates me because I like to talk over chat. I bet I seem too clingy because I like to talk a lot over chat.

Mikan- Oh. I'm sorry.

Natsume- No it's fine. But I got to go now. I'll talk to you later.

Mikan- Yeah... Bye.

See he's trying to put it in a kind way that he doesn't like talking to me. Fine... If he really wants to talk to me, he'll just message me on his own. I'll wait for him to. I don't want to seem desperate.

* * *

Hello again. It's Friday~~. I hope you are enjoying my story. I've been kind of slacking on this story. I'm sorry. I won't be able to update next Friday because I am going out of town to visit my grandmother because she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Please wait for me! Bye Bye and Until next time have a great week! Thank you again for reading.

Date Published: 05/16/14


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